To Be Seen You Have To Let People See You

To Be Seen You Have To Let People See You

My whole life I have struggled with the feeling of not being enough for other people. I have a small handful of people consisting of family and one of my closest friends that I mostly feel seen and understood by, but outside of that I have accepted it as a truth that I am not enough and I am not seen by people. This is something I believe that God has been working on in me. He brought it to my attention a few months ago that this is MY truth, not THE truth. God has actively been pursuing me for the last year and a half, so if I am enough for God to pursue and love, why is it so hard for me to accept that I might be enough for others too?

I’m not entirely sure at what age I took on the lie that I am not enough, but I do know this is something most women struggle with at some point in their lives. I believe this is an intentional and targeted attack by the enemy because it keeps so many of us weighed down and unable to step into our true character and calling from God. I’ve been taking a course called The Armor of God by Priscilla Shirer with my mom, and during one week we focused on the belt of truth. In that lesson, I learned how important it is to speak the truth, stand on it, and uncover the lies spoken over us. I began to sense that God was showing me my belief—that I am not enough for anyone—is a lie that has been spoken into my life, not the truth. For the past couple of months, I’ve been trying to understand what that means for me.

One of the ways I know God is working on this in me is how often it has come up in this season. There have been moments in Bible studies, church, the youth group I volunteer with, and in my relationships that have triggered this deep belief I’ve been holding onto so tightly. God is pushing me to grow so much this year, and I’m beginning to see that this is an area that needs intentional focus.

One of the clearest places I’ve been pushed to grow is in the youth group I volunteer with. Over the past six months, I’ve often felt intimidated and outside of my comfort zone, with imposter syndrome showing up more times than I can count. But because of that, I also know I am exactly where God wants me in this season. Through it, I’ve learned and grown so much from this incredible group of youth leaders.

At the end of every youth group night, after all the students have left, our team does a debrief where we start by recognizing different members of the team. Part of me has always hoped I wouldn’t get called out, because whoever is recognized has to go up in front of everyone and say a few words—which is VERY far outside my comfort zone. So when I was called up this past week, I felt that mix of excitement and immediate panic. I appreciated the recognition, but the second everyone started calling out “speech!”, I could feel myself shutting down. I got up there and completely fumbled over my words—I think I awkwardly said something about how this is my nightmare before thanking them and sharing a little about how much I’ve been pushed to grow. It felt like a disaster. For the rest of the night and into the next morning, all I could think about was how stupid I probably looked and sounded in front of everyone.

It was on my way to work the next morning when I was praying that I got a revelation. Literally just two days before, I had had a moment with God where I was crying and telling Him that I don’t think I’ll ever be enough for anyone and that I’m not seen. Fast forward to the youth group two days later and this amazing group of people recognizes me, and the part that stood out the most to me was when one of the youth leaders said something along the lines of, “we just want you to know that we see you”. As I’m coming to this realization, I get this strong thought/voice in my head that says, “To be seen, you have to let people see you”. This was a pivotal realization for me. I constantly crave to be seen by others, but I actively hide and make myself small when I’m in the presence of other people. I don’t let them see me, and I don’t let them know me. To be seen I have to let people see me. This means letting people recognize me. This means letting others sit with me as I fumble through my words. This means letting them in to see the imperfect and at times cringey parts of me.

This is something I know I’ll be working on for a long time, but I’m grateful God has revealed it to me now. I’m starting to realize it’s not that people don’t want to know me—it’s that I haven’t been letting them. I’ve kept my walls up so high that there hasn’t been much for people to step into. So this is what I’m learning: being seen isn’t about finally becoming “enough.” It’s about being willing to show up as I am, even when it feels uncomfortable. It’s about choosing to be known, little by little, instead of hiding. And hopefully that’s where being seen actually begins.